I want it all and I want it now

So far 2019 hasn't exactly been the wonderful, blessed year I had hoped it would be. You know, you go into a new year and you have certain hopes and maybe some goals to work towards. And you expect it won't be all smooth sailing, but you're optimistic that you'll be able to take the challenges in your stride and that everything will work out well in the end.

We tend to have this expectation that the good stuff (things we sometimes call blessings in the Christian vocabulary) will at least balance out the bad stuff (a.k.a. challenges, struggles, attacks from the evil one...) and at best significantly outweigh them. That seems fair. That seems like something non-Christians can get behind and start following Jesus for. And I wish it was always like that, but it's not.

So we ask ourselves The Questions: Did I do something wrong? Did someone else do something wrong? Did God make a mistake? Did He forget about me? Then we try to draw connections between what we expected, what the outcome was (or wasn't) and what may have caused it, because it's supposed to be fair and good and "blessed." But it's not. And we fall into the trap of superstition: If I sing this song/pray this prayer/do this good thing, God will answer my prayer in the way I want Him to. But He doesn't. Not always, at least.

And that's okay.

But it's only okay if we can remember who God is. If we can do that, regardless of our circumstances,  regardless of the minor injustices and inconveniences of life, then we're hitting the mark, getting to the heart of following Jesus. He said it Himself: "You will have trouble in this world." (John 16:33) It is to be expected that hardships and unfairness and betrayal and illness and all the bad stuff we can think of will be part of life. Being a Christian does not make us exempt of difficulty. It sometimes feels more like being a Christian attracts difficulty...

But Jesus warned is about this so that in Him we may have peace. Yes, in this world you will have trouble, but Jesus has overcome the world. And it is only in Him that we may find peace in the midst of all the turmoil and trouble.

And yet, this doesn't mean that I'll get the money I want for the things I think I need. It doesn't mean that, after six weeks of illness and discomfort in our home my daughter will not come down with another cold/flu. It does not mean that the future will be mapped out perfectly from here on in, just because I've lived with uncertainty for most of my life. It does not mean that, because I've known rejection in the past, I'll know acceptance in the future. It does not mean that every time I take a risk and put myself out there a little that I'll be successful. It doesn't make me immune to cancer or redundancy or grief or physical death.

It does mean, however, that I won't face these things alone (Joshua 1:9). It does mean that there is Someone beside me to help me up after a stumble (Psalm 30:1). It does mean there is Someone I can scream at because of my frustration with it all, and He won't turn away (Psalm 13). It does mean that there is Someone I can ask the most difficult questions to and sometimes even get an answer (Hebrews 4:14-16). It does mean that, in times of grief and sadness, Someone is with me, crying as well (Psalm 86:15). It does mean I have Someone to ask for the things I want and know that I'll get the things I need (Philippians 4:19). It does mean that I have Someone who can comfort me and gently remind of the truth: that God is love (1 John 4:16). He has always been and always will be. That is the true blessing. That is the true heart of Christianity.