Wearily upward

I don't know if you experience the same thing: going away for a couple of weeks, coming back and feeling like you've not been away at all. I've been away for two weeks. Apparently lots have changed. England won the Cricket World Cup in a nailbiter of a final; Boris Johnson is the new PM (and the world has not ended... yet...); my (nearly 2-year-old) son seems to have grown up all of a sudden; London experienced it's hottest day ever. And yet, on my walk to work this morning, it all seems to be exactly the same as I left it two weeks ago. The same shops are still selling expensive coffee; the E-car charging points still have the same graffiti; there is still the same amount of traffic on the road; people still wear headphones while walking (as do I); my desk at work is still messy (sorry about that...). So what's the use of going on a significant journey if coming back only means more of the same as before? I don't know. But what I do know is that, because ...

I recently entered our living room after a quick Sunday afternoon nap, to find our kids (Madeleine, 4; Ruben, nearly 2) eating some popcorn. Madeleine's first words to me were "Pappa, we ate your last marshmallows. Mamma said we could." This was fine with me, so I jokingly said "Okay, then I need to eat your popcorn, now..." To which Madeleine replied "You better eat Ruben's, 'cause mine's all done," That seems a bit unfair, I thought. Having both marshmallows AND popcorn, then letting your little brother "pay" for it with his popcorn. Almost as unfair as 'having the best of both worlds.' Almost as unfair as the story Jesus told about the workers in the vineyard who got the same wages for doing an hour's work as the workers who worked all day (Matthew 20). Almost as unfair as another story Jesus told about a son who left his dad and brother to live the wild life, then being lavishly welcomed home, while the other bro...

I had a lot of big dreams (the aspirational kind) when I was younger, and it was a fairly diverse array of ambitions at that. I wanted to play rugby for the Springboks, write and record at least five studio albums, become a medical doctor, travel the world to write award-winning articles and take award-winning photographs for National Geographic, then retire on a South African vineyard when I turn 35. None of it came to be. In fact, my dreams and ambitions have changed quite significantly as time went by and circumstances changed. Now I aspire to raise my children to become good human beings, to be faithful in how I do my job and handle my responsibilities, to write a good blog post every now and then, and, if I'm lucky, have a quiet cup of coffee with a beautiful view (the view being optional as long as the silence is attainable). And though these aren't necessarily bad dreams and aspirations, there is the sense that there is more to life than just having a cosy beverage...