It's not fair

I recently entered our living room after a quick Sunday afternoon nap, to find our kids (Madeleine, 4; Ruben, nearly 2) eating some popcorn. Madeleine's first words to me were "Pappa, we ate your last marshmallows. Mamma said we could." This was fine with me, so I jokingly said "Okay, then I need to eat your popcorn, now..." To which Madeleine replied "You better eat Ruben's, 'cause mine's all done,"

That seems a bit unfair, I thought. Having both marshmallows AND popcorn, then letting your little brother "pay" for it with his popcorn. Almost as unfair as 'having the best of both worlds.' Almost as unfair as the story Jesus told about the workers in the vineyard who got the same wages for doing an hour's work as the workers who worked all day (Matthew 20). Almost as unfair as another story Jesus told about a son who left his dad and brother to live the wild life, then being lavishly welcomed home, while the other brother stayed home and worked (Luke 15:32).

But is it really unfair? I had to think about this and do some serious introspection, because I realised that thinking Christ's stories is unfair tells me more about my own shortcomings and weakness than anything else. Here's where I got to:

1. I realised, reading these passages, that, no matter how hard I work (or have worked in the past) I can't work my way into God's family. No matter how holy I think I am, I still need a Saviour. No matter how much I think I know about Jesus, I still need to know Him more (rather than knowing more about Him). 
2. Having been saved and welcomed into God's kingdom does not make me better than any other person alive. It just makes me saved. It doesn't magically make me the perfect judge on who gets in or who doesn't. Christ is the perfect Judge, and He will come to judge all in the end. Who am I to decide what is fair and unfair in God's kingdom? Did I not receive salvation by grace, through faith, just like any other human being can? How dare I place myself above God, believing I can be a better judge of human hearts than the One who made them?
3. One might think that the workers who started work in the vineyard late in the day, yet got the same wage, had the best of both worlds. One might think that the son who left his dad and brother to go and live wildly and immorally, then returned to his father's loving arms also had the best of both worlds. I did. And I realised that thinking this way shows that I still value and yearn for the sinful world. Somehow, even after experiencing and accepting this amazing gift of grace, being welcomed into God's own family, I still forget what an awesome gift and privilege it is to be with the Father; to know His love and guidance. It also reveals that I view my part in building God's kingdom in this world as more of a chore, doing it out of a sense of duty, rather than seeing it for the immense privilege it is. How amazing is this thought: God, in all His wisdom, insight and love, decides that the best way to make the world aware of salvation in Christ is to love us and encourage us to love those around us. He's not using us like emperors used slaves to build stuff. He loves us and invites us to be useful in building His kingdom, as family members of the biggest and best family that ever existed. And that is a beautiful privilege.

So... I have a lot to repent of. My heart and my thoughts still need to be changed a lot for me to be more like Jesus. Fortunately, this too is not wholly up to me, but to the Holy Spirit living inside of me. All I need to do is submit, surrender to the authority of Jesus Christ and be transformed by His Spirit every day. 

And maybe I need to hide my sweets a bit better in the future too...

Selah.