Late for school... again

I had a bit of a sad moment recently. I was dropping off my daughter at school and we were late, so I had to check her in at the front office, rather than leave her at her classroom door. After she was checked in, she turned to me and said (very maturely for a 4 year-old) that she'll be okay, because she knows the way to her class from there. And it struck me, watching her walk down the corridor, that we've dropped her off late enough times to make her feel comfortable with it. It's almost like being late for school has become the norm for her... And that makes me incredibly sad.

There are mitigating circumstances however: we've recently moved house, so we're still figuring out how long it takes to get to school (in good and bad traffic), what to do when we miss one bus and the next one is only in 15 minutes, dealing with a 2 year-old son/brother who loves to wrestle rather than get dressed and let others get dressed, etc.

All of this got me thinking about what we regard as 'normal' and, more importantly, how we get to that point. Also in our walk with Jesus. What is 'normal' and how does something become 'the norm?'

And I think it comes down to two determining factors:

1. Being desensitised through repetition. When we let something (bad behaviour, vengefulness, unforgiveness, intolerance, being late) slide once, it becomes easier to let it slide when faced with similar situations/circumstances later on. And so we do it again, because it's less shocking than the first time. So the behaviour gets repeated to the point where it becomes 'normal.'
2. Taking the route of least resistance. Once a certain behaviour or philosophy has taken root, has become 'the norm,' it's really difficult to change it. We, as a species, don't like change that much, because change takes a lot of energy. Change is uncomfortable. Change means letting go of the familiar. And yet, there can be no growth or development without change.

The thing is, in my experience, that this goes both ways - good AND bad. If we try doing something good for the first time (like asking to pray for a stranger on the street, giving money to a charity, getting up early to spend time in God's Word), the same two principles apply. It might be a shock to the system to give away money, but next time it becomes a bit easier; a bit less shocking. And if we do it enough times, generosity becomes normal. And once it has become normal, it feels awkward to not be generous (though not impossible). Growth then happens in various other ways (like being more generous with money, being generous towards others with our time, etc.).

And all of this is within our control. We can decide which behaviours become habits (both good and bad), which areas of holiness we grow in (both positively and negatively) and, thus, what becomes our so-called 'normal.' That's right. You decide what becomes normal. And you do so through every decision you make. Every. Single. Day.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

May you have the insight to know how to make holiness your norm. And may you have the courage to break out of the bad habits and patterns that may lead the other way.

Selah.