I probably shouldn't say this...

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There are a couple of phrases in English (and other languages, I'm sure), that just outright contradicts what the words actually mean. Things like "I'm not racist, but..." or "I don't mean to interfere, but..." or even "I'm fine, thanks," when asked how one is doing.

This, for me, is the worst one: "I shouldn't say this, but..."

I hate it because there's a sense that using this phrase makes whatever follows okay to say. It's like using a tea towel to lessen a hammer blow. And then justifying hurtful and unnecessary words by adding "I'm just being honest" adds fuel to the fire of frustration slowly burning around the edges of my patience. In a couple of sentences the speaker has gone from "I should remain silent," to "I'm not even sorry I didn't remain silent."

There's a lot in the Bible about the tongue, our words and how we use them. They have great power (Proverbs 18:21). They influence people (Proverbs 15:4). It can actually pollute us (Matthew 15:11). So here's a couple of verses to help guide our words:

"The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues."
Proverbs 17:27-28 (NIVUK)

"Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."
Colossians 4:5-6 (NIVUK)

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
Ephesians 4:29 (NIVUK)

I probably shouldn't say this... so I won't.

Selah.

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