Stirring the curd

A couple of weeks ago I tried making lemon curd. Those who have made lemon curd before will know how easy it actually is. Only a few basic ingredients are needed to make something delicious -which are the kind or recipes I like to try. But only if you follow the recipe. At one point I was stirring the mixture of butter, lemon juice and zest, sugar and egg without anything happening. The recipe said to keep stirring until it thickens, but mine wouldn't. So I started to panic. Did I do something wrong? Dit I forget to add something? Did I get the measurements wrong and messed up the whole thing? Is the recipe even correct?

After some more stirring the mixture suddenly thickened beautifully to a custard-like consistency. Perfection! I was overjoyed! The recipe was correct, I did everything right and all the ingredients were where they should have been. The proof was literally in the pudding! All it took was some time doing what the recipe instructed me to do.

I often feel like that in general. The questions of doubt pop up when something seems to be taking longer than it should. Did a decision I made mess up God's perfect plan for my family and I? Is there something I'm neglecting that would have dire consequences? Why am I not seeing any results for the work I've been doing? Am I doing my job correctly? Am I even able to do what I'm supposed to? Is this not way above my abilities?

Even in my prayer life I often have similar questions. Why are my prayers not being answered? Am I saying the wrong words? Is there sin or something else that is getting in the way? Is my faith strong enough? Is God trustworthy? Am I too selfish? What did I miss?

It can be really discouraging and disheartening not to know whether you're on the right track or not. But sometimes it's just a matter of time. Sometimes you have to keep on doing what you're meant to be doing until what is supposed to happen happens. Like stirring the curd until it thickens. Like praying until something happens. Like following Jesus unconditionally and living a life of integrity and peace despite a lack of understanding. Sometimes we just have to read the instructions again and keep at it until the next step can be taken.

One of the most difficult things I've ever had to do is to carry on when everything inside me wanted to quit because I didn't see results or movement. I still find it excruciating to pray for the same things I've prayed for for years and years without answer. But who else will I turn to but Jesus? Who else can help and encourage and reignite the dying embers into a roaring fire of passion? Who else is more trustworthy? Who else is more faithful?

No one. No one is more faithful. No one is more trustworthy. No one is more kind and generous. No one has a greater ability to help and support. No one knows what we need and when we need it better. Only Jesus.

Photo by Alicja Gancarz on Unsplash