Heartbreak and hope

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It was, funnily enough, the most helpless I've felt in decades. My wife and I were really excited about the UK's International Travel Update until the moment I saw the list of countries coming off the red list. South Africa was not on it and that broke my heart.

We've not been to Southern Africa to visit family for more than two and a half years because of the global pandemic. Fair enough. Different countries handle the pandemic differently. Also fair enough (even though it doesn't always make sense). We were unable to go with South Africa on the red list because of the regulations on coming back. We simply can't afford the mandatory £2250 per person stay in a government hotel for 11 nights. So when the data analysts and commentators predicted that South Africa would be one of the countries coming off the red list we were well and truly excited.

But then that didn't happen. The list of eight countries coming off the dreaded list did not include South Africa or Namibia. I was devastated. I'm finding it hard to describe how bitterly disappointing this was for me. Imagine you're told that you can hug your mum again after not seeing her for two and a half years, and then told you can't anymore. It's tough.

What made it tougher for me was that I couldn't make sense of it. How does the government decide which countries are on the red list? What are the criteria for deciding? Why not...? How...? When will they...? The more I thought about it, the deeper I spiralled down this dark, bottomless hole of negative thoughts, conspiracies, anger and sadness. I got so frustrated that I ranted to my wife about governments, corruption, politics and all the bad things that go with it. Like raisins. Who likes raisins anyway!? I may or may not have used a couple of unsavoury words to bring the point home... I'm sorry about that (and to everyone who likes raisins...).

It would be a real shame if that was where the story ended; if I had no hope at all. I can see how someone can become bitter, untrusting, angry, anxious, stressed and depressed if there was no hope at all. Or even if hope was built on circumstances which are out of our control and can change so very, very quickly. I was reminded of one of David's songs:

"Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I shall never be shaken."

Psalm 62:1-2 (NIVUK)

It's so easy to put our trust in the things we can see. It's so easy to base our hope on the things that we can count, calculate or control. Truth is that there's not a lot we can control, which makes for a pretty wobbly surface to build a life on. But there is one thing we can control: putting our trust and our hope in the Rock of Ages (that's God, not the 2012 musical). He gives us a much sturdier foundation to build on.

And we have this wonderful promise that God can be our rock and our salvation, not because we've earned it or deserved it. Even this is (thankfully) out of our control. He offers it to us because He is God and He loves us. This quote from C.S. Lewis is so frustratingly on point:

"Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

~C.S. Lewis - The Problem of Pain~

And this is what God has been shouting in the midst of my heartache and despair:

"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you."

Isaiah 54:10 (NIVUK)

He has compassion on me. He has compassion on you too. So may you be encouraged today. May you be reminded of God's unwavering love for you. May you be reminded that, whatever you are facing today, this is not the end of the story. May you recognise God's hand of protection, peace and guidance wherever you are and whatever you are doing. And may your faith not be influenced by your circumstances, but by an intimate knowledge of the presence of God and his love for you.

Selah

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

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