Officially Unemployed

It's a scary thing to be officially unemployed for the first time in a very long time. I'm not changing jobs, I'm changing careers, and as such am now in a waiting time before I start retraining. And there is always an element of risk to doing this. Questions frequently come to mind: Are you insane to do it at this age? Are you sure you want to do this? What about your family? What if you fail? What if you go down this road and you realise halfway through that it's the wrong path? Where will you get the money from? What if...? What about...? Who do you think you are to change anything?

I am aware that I am not the first person to go through this, and I am certainly not the only person facing these questions at this very moment. It seems that one of the consequences of a global pandemic is that people re-evaluate their lives and priorities (rightly or wrongly...) and that changes inevitably occur as a result. 

It seems that change (whether we choose it or not) is, ironically, one of the few things in life that seem to be constant. Just like being unique (everyone is unique, just like you...) and the fact that death is an unavoidable part of life.

The one thing that stays the same in all of it, though, is God's love for us. Paul writes in Romans 8 that there is nothing that can separate us from God's love: 

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8: 38-39 NIV)

A couple of years ago I did a trip to Central Asia. I remember being worried about my family if anything should happen to me on the trip. As I was praying and singing Goodness Of God, I burst into tears when God's peace suddenly overwhelmed me. It was as if He was reminding me that I had nothing to worry about as long as He is in control. He has been faithful all my life, and He will continue to be.

Unfortunately this does not mean (like some Christians may think) that everything will be easy as a result. When I prayed Sir Francis Drake's 'Disturb Us Lord' prayer some years ago, I had hoped the outcome would precede the hardship. But that's not how things work. Because, as Drake prayed:

"Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas where storms will show your mastery; where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars."

It is in our hardships and darkness that Jesus shines brightest and His power becomes more apparent.

And so, as God is answering this prayer in a very real way, I am aware that He is the one who not only loves me, cares for me, leads me and strengthens me, but that He is also gracious when I stumble, faithful when my faith is small, loving when I become fearful (as I am right now), and generous in all He does. It's an emotionally loaded time to be both scared for what lies beyond the horison, but also excited to go and see, knowing all the while that Jesus, the Master, is in control.

I finish with the end of Drake's prayers:

We ask You to push back the horizons of our hopes; and to push into the future in strength, courage, hope and love. Amen.

Photo by Graphic Node on Unsplash