Wearily upward

There was a famous Afrikaans author who wrote: " 'n Halwe begryper het 'n goeie woord nodig. " It means that someone who only partially understands something needs a clear, encouraging, or well-chosen explanation to grasp it fully. He wrote this as a tongue-in-cheek play on a well-known Afrikaans saying that goes: " 'n Goeie begrip het 'n halwe woord nodig, " which means that someone who has good understanding only needs half an explanation to get the message. Which one of these describe God best? Does he understand our prayers easily and quickly, or does he need detailed, well-worded, explanatory prayers to understand our needs and desires? My first thought was that he is able to understand us and our needs easily and quickly; sometimes even without the need for words or even knowing exactly what we want in the first place (Isaiah 65:24; Matthew 6:32; Romans 8:26-27). He is, after all, God: the Creator of all living things (Colossians 1:16), the On...

I was looking at some old photos and videos on my laptop recently, and came across a video of my mum reading to my 1.5 year-old son on a visit to South Africa in 2019. It was heartwarming to see how comfortable and content he was simply sitting next to my mum as she explained many of the pictures he was trying to make sense. Both our kids still love reading and being read to. Now they're older, bedtime picture books have been replaced by longer reads like The Boy at the Back of the Class by Onjali Q. Rauf (an excellent book!),  The Usborne Book of Stars and Planets or Asterix & Obelix . They don't fully grasp every concept in those books yet, so there are often a lot of questions about why what Obelix said was funny, how we got the Mars Rover to Mars, or why bullies of all ages can be so mean to those less fortunate. And I absolutely love those questions and the inevitable discussions that follow! My son sometimes asks my daughter for help explaining something, and she will...

A while back, my friend Richard and I were talking about camping and it turns out we have the same philosophy when it comes to certain pieces of equipment: It's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. We weren't talking about the trademark Bear Grylls survival kits or the latest off-road adventure vehicles. No. We were talking of the gear you don't even realise you need until you need it. Like shoelaces. That's why I bought an extra set of shoelaces before a Central Asia trek some years ago. I also bought a small sewing kit and extra zipper pulls (don't judge me) because you never know... Can you imagine getting ready for the day's 20 km hike through rough and rocky mountain terrain, and rivers of snowmelt? Can you see yourself putting your high tech Vibram-soled hiking boots on, pulling on the laces... only to feel that gut-wrenching snap and the realisation that you have just doubled the number of shoelaces in your hands, but wrecked...

Dear neighbours The aim of this letter is to sincerely and honestly thank you. Thank you for teaching us so much about neighbourly love, acceptance and welcoming others. Through your perfect example we now know what the opposite of these virtues look like. You have shown me exactly what I do not want to be like as a neighbour. Thank you also for making our kids and their friends feel unwanted and unwelcome – even sad and afraid at times – by your racially charged comments and yelling out of windows. They too have learnt what the opposite of being a kind neighbour is through your sterling example. It gave us, as parents, the opportunity to teach our kids that there will be places and people in this world who do not like them or welcome them, and that this is okay, because they will always be loved by their parents. It is, however, unfortunate that this lesson had to be learnt at the place we have called home for 5 years. Finally, my sincere thanks to you all for making life “at home” so...

Today I started running (again). This was because I wore a piece of clothing yesterday that I would have labelled as "loose fitting" before wearing it yesterday. Just to make it abundantly clear: the piece of clothing (an old rugby shirt) can no longer be described as "loose fitting", but borders on "being sprayed on" like the Waratahs jerseys of the early 2000's... I started using the Couch To 5K app (again), which is brilliant. I have the amazing Sarah Millican telling me when to start walking and when to start running with a "Are you ready? Gooo!" in her inimitable accent with just the right balance between optimism and realism. When I was younger I would never have thought I'd need an English comedian telling me when to run or walk on an app because I was so unfit. I played rugby, coached squash, ran half-marathons, for goodness sake! I was fit and healthy! It was also at that time that my rugby shirt was, very much, "loose fitti...

My family and I visited friends and family in South Africa recently. For a part of our trip we stayed on a game farm, so, naturally, we went on loads of game drives. A photographer's paradise!  On one of these drives we were completely surrounded by a herd of about 10 elephants. There's something special about being that close to something that wild and that big, but also that peaceful; to be at the mercy of such immense power, but not feeling afraid (sound familiar?). If it sounds spectacular, it really was!  It would almost seem like a bit of a let-down seeing this bird and its young a few minutes later. It is a picture of a Greater Painted Snipe ( Goudsnip in Afrikaans) protecting its young from a bunch of people in a big game viewing Land Cruiser. But the more I think about it, the more I am amazed at this incredible expression of love, care, courage and sacrifice. I am reminded of Psalm 91:3-4 (NIVUK): "Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the...

There are a lot of focus on Machine Learning and Artificial Intelligence at the moment. It really is an exciting and terrifying technology that is already influencing so much of what we do and know today; from algorithms that suggest what ads we see on websites to self-driving cars, and so much more. Exciting because the possibilities of what can be achieved is quite possibly endless. Terrifying for the same reason, and also that the long-term consequences of using this technology are still largely unknown. Does any of this remind you of something else? Something else that has a near-infinite capacity for doing good and/or evil? Something else that influences lives in significant yet unseen ways? Something else that has consequential actions which echo far beyond the here and now? I am, of course, thinking of human beings. More specifically, the human mind and heart. I'm sure you have heard the old adage "You can do anything you put your mind to." credited to Benjamin Fra...

I can't help but think that I disappoint my wife and kids more often than not. I get the sense that my wife fell in love with her mental picture of me back in the day, and I just can't live up to that person. At least not as much as I would like to. She never says this, but I get a vibe every now and then - a well timed sigh loud enough to hear from the other room, the uncontrollable look of disappointment when I don't do something "the right way", etc. My kids, on the other hand, just outright tells it as it is. Children are honest and sincere like that. I wonder whether that is why Jesus welcomed them so openly...  Anyway. It's hard when expectations outweigh our abilities. Or, put differently, it's hard when the reality of who we are does not line up with the expectation of who we are. We all do it. We all set expectations of others, mostly determined by our own experience and preferences. For example: a teacher has a classroom of children, each with th...

Trust is an interesting thing. Even a scary thing at times. But it's something we do every day, inadvertently. We were driving to Devon just after Christmas for some time away after a busy year full of many changes. I quit my job, started (and successfully completed) a Data Science bootcamp, our son started Reception, and our daughter seemed to have become an 8-year old teenager overnight. Anyway. I was driving us to a place in Devon I've never been to, using Google Maps to guide our way. I tried to work out how we  used to travel before phone based GPS's were a thing (I still can't remember what that was like...).  Anyway.  I realised that we were putting our trust in something without knowing how it works to get us somewhere we've never been, on a road where we didn't see the destination until we got there (in the dark). That's trust. And never once did I doubt that we'll get there. Then I realised that we were putting our trust in Google Maps for a co...

It's a scary thing to be officially unemployed for the first time in a very long time. I'm not changing jobs, I'm changing careers, and as such am now in a waiting time before I start retraining. And there is always an element of risk to doing this. Questions frequently come to mind: Are you insane to do it at this age? Are you sure you want to do this? What about your family? What if you fail? What if you go down this road and you realise halfway through that it's the wrong path? Where will you get the money from? What if...? What about...? Who do you think you are to change anything? I am aware that I am not the first person to go through this, and I am certainly not the only person facing these questions at this very moment. It seems that one of the consequences of a global pandemic is that people re-evaluate their lives and priorities (rightly or wrongly...) and that changes inevitably occur as a result.  It seems that change (whether we choose it or not) is, ironic...

As we get closer to Easter the regular Easter songs and Easter readings start popping up at church a bit more frequently. Almost like Carols, Isaiah 9 and Michael Bublé come out of hibernation in the run-up to Christmas. One of these Easter readings is the prophecy of Christ's crucifixion from Isaiah 53. It's a fairly well-known passage quoted in many songs and sermons, but the bit that stood out for me this morning was right at the start of the chapter in verses two and three: "He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem." It got me thinking about how I judge and value people at a glance most of the time. I had to ask myself these questions: Would I have held Jesus in low esteem if I met Him back in Biblical times? Would I have missed ou...

My mother-in-law and I had a brief but awkwardly interesting conversation about protective gear for male cricketers recently. She and my father-in-law are visiting us from Namibia, so I appreciated the rare chance to have face-to-face awkward conversations. I was watching an IPL match when a batter adjusted his er... abdominal guard* while on screen. This prompted the question from my mother-in-law about whether wearing protective gear is very uncomfortable and limits mobility significantly. She had no experience in wearing any protective kit like that at all. I replied that it can be uncomfortable at times, but that everything in its design is intended to make the guard as effective against hits, yet as agreeable to wear as possible. The choice is either to wear something slightly uncomfortable that limits movement to a very small degree, or risking immeasurable pain and discomfort if a hard leather ball moving terribly fast uses parts of one's anatomy as a punching bag. It really...

Have you figured out what the one thing is that makes you you ? There are so many things we (humans) have in common, but what is the one thing that makes you uniquely you ? I suppose a good way to rephrase that question is: Who are you? Or maybe: Who are you meant to be? I wonder whether answering that question might get easier - because, let's face it, it's a really tough question to answer - if we know what our reason for being alive is. To phrase it slightly differently: What is the one thing that needs doing/saying that only you can do/say - no one else - and if that thing is not done/said the world will be a worse place for it? What do you think yours is?  In Christian circles you may hear people describing this as "God's calling on your life" or something along those lines. Some of us may call it our reason for living, or our purpose for being. We can often see it as JUST one thing, and when that thing is done/said, we can peacefully slip away into nothingne...

The following letter was found in a baking-powder tin wired to the handle of an old pump that offered the only hope of drinking water on a very long and seldom-used trail across Nevada's Amargosa Desert: "This pump is in working order. I put a new sucker washer into it and it ought to last five years. But the washer dries out and the pump has got to be primed. Under the white rock I buried a bottle of water, out of the sun and cork end up. There's enough water in it to prime the pump, but not if you drink some first. Pour about one-fourth and let her soak to wet the leather. Then pour in the rest medium fast and pump like crazy. You'll get water. The well has never run dry. Have faith. When you get watered up, fill the bottle and put it back like you found it for the next feller. (signed) Desert Pete. P.S. Don't go drinking the water first. Prime the pump with it and you'll get all the water you can hold." I wonder how many of us would be tempted to drink ...

If today's walk was the only one I ever did in Richmond Park, I would not believe anyone who told me that there are free-roaming, wild deer within its boundaries. I spent more than three and a half hours lugging a camera around the park to get a nice photo, and I didn't see one single deer. Not one. Not even in the distance. But luckily today was not my only time in Richmond Park. In fact, I have been there many, many times (I want to say hundreds of times...) and there has only been about three occasions on which I saw no deer. I know the deer are there, I just didn't see them today. {I took the above photo there myself on 11/02/2022.} If it wasn't for my previous experiences of the fullness and riches of Richmond Park, I would have (wrongfully) written the place off as a dud for photography hobbyists; one disappointing experience preventing me from ever going back and seeing more than I could ever have imagined... Isn't that our attitude towards God sometimes: One...

I am always struck by the profoundness of C.S. Lewis's words (whenever I remember them...): "We must lay before him [God] what is in us, not what ought to be in us." ~Letters To Malcolm: Chiefly On Prayer~ What a liberating thought! I don't know about you, but I often feel pressure to pray the right prayers, to say the right words, to be as eloquent and holy as I can when I talk with God. He is, after all, the King of kings, Lord of lords, Sovereign over the world! Like when the biship visits our church. Or when I meet someone with a really posh accent. I wonder, though, whether God is at all impressed or even influenced by my hollow attempts at articulacy (when is the last time you tried to pray to the Almighty in your second language in front of people?) or profound insight into "what God wants me to pray for." The more I think about it, the more I realise that it is, indeed, futile. God looks at and knows our hearts (1 Samuel 16:7; Romans 8:27). He listen...

Do you think you've changed in the last couple of years? I certainly have. My physical appearance has significantly changed (hair colour, hairline, wrinkles, etc.) which is an inevitable sign of the beautiful blessing of living and aging, albeit one that can sometimes be embarrassing or unwanted. I see myself in photos taken in my 20's and I wonder how such a big change happened without me noticing... Mentally I've changed as well: the wonderful school of experience we all attend, whether we want to or not. I've realised that I think differently about things now than I did in my 20's. Which is often good, because I was an idiot in my 20's. Now I'm just an older idiot with more experience, I guess. Being a husband and a father makes me think differently about risk and danger. And income. And health. And what is most important. It also makes me think more about the future. Or rather how the present - and the decisions I make in the present - will influence the...

It was, funnily enough, the most helpless I've felt in decades. My wife and I were really excited about the UK's International Travel Update until the moment I saw the list of countries coming off the red list. South Africa was not on it and that broke my heart. We've not been to Southern Africa to visit family for more than two and a half years because of the global pandemic. Fair enough. Different countries handle the pandemic differently. Also fair enough (even though it doesn't always make sense). We were unable to go with South Africa on the red list because of the regulations on coming back. We simply can't afford the mandatory £2250 per person stay in a government hotel for 11 nights. So when the data analysts and commentators predicted that South Africa would be one of the countries coming off the red list we were well and truly excited. But then that didn't happen. The list of eight countries coming off the dreaded list did not include South Africa or N...

Have you ever heard of Mary King? I'm not referring to the British equestrian athlete who represented GB at 6 Olympic Games. I am referring to another Mary King. I'll give you a hint: Charles Spurgeon wrote about her. Any ideas? No? Well, I would be really surprised if you knew who she was. She was a cook at a school where Spurgeon was an assistant teacher and a devout Christian. She influenced the great preacher and theologian to such an extent that he wrote: "From her I got all the theology I ever needed." When I moved from South Africa to the UK to join the Worship Central Academy I had big dreams of becoming a songwriter and recording artist. I wanted to write songs that would help people worship God. I wanted to write and record albums known around the world. Thank the good Lord that He didn't allow that to happen. This later evolved into a desire to write books and become a number one bestselling author (or something like it). Again, probably more because I ...

A couple of weeks ago I tried making lemon curd. Those who have made lemon curd before will know how easy it actually is. Only a few basic ingredients are needed to make something delicious -which are the kind or recipes I like to try. But only if you follow the recipe. At one point I was stirring the mixture of butter, lemon juice and zest, sugar and egg without anything happening. The recipe said to keep stirring until it thickens, but mine wouldn't. So I started to panic. Did I do something wrong? Dit I forget to add something? Did I get the measurements wrong and messed up the whole thing? Is the recipe even correct? After some more stirring the mixture suddenly thickened beautifully to a custard-like consistency. Perfection! I was overjoyed! The recipe was correct, I did everything right and all the ingredients were where they should have been. The proof was literally in the pudding! All it took was some time doing what the recipe instructed me to do. I often feel like that in...